Jake Gyllenhaal is not gay, says his BFF, Maroon 5s Adam Levine

What’s the general opinion on Maroon 5’s front-man Adam Levine? My opinion: I think he’s a douche. A douche with a great voice, but a douche none the less. I’ve just seen one too many interviews where he just seemed so full of himself and like he thinks he’s God’s gift to music and women and the world. If it took it down a notch, he might actually be charming. Anyway, Adam Levine is interviewed in the new Out Magazine (full piece here), and Adam talks candidly about “one of his oldest friends,” Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah… they’re friends. What the hell? Anyway, Adam took it upon himself to defend his oldest friend’s heterosexuality:

Out Magazine: You’ve also gotten a lot of attention for hanging out with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Levine: Will everyone stop thinking that dude is gay? Seriously guys. How immature is it of the media to perceive this guy — it has to be because of Brokeback, right? I’ve known this dude forever. He’s one of my oldest friends, and it’s very weird that they have this — it’s very immature and infantile the way they treat his whole situation. If him hanging out with his bros means he’s gay, it’s like further perpetuating that weird homophobia that exists in our culture, which is just stupid. So, yeah, he’s my buddy. I f-ckin’ love the guy.

[From Out Magazine]

Sure. Okay…? That passage literally came out of nowhere. Yes, he was asked about Jake, but he was not asked about Jake’s sexuality. It would be like, “Hey do you read Celebitchy?” and I would reply, “Yes, Celebitchy is my friend, one of my closest friends and I can’t believe everyone says she’s GAY. Celebitchy and GAY. She is so not GAY GAY GAY.” Does the douche protest too much? Eh. I don’t think Jake is gay, as I’ve said before. I think he’s straight and I think he’s totally f-cking vanilla.

But you know who Levine reminds me of in this interview? John Mayer. Seriously. And I know Mayer and Maroon 5 went on tour together and Mayer and Levine have some kind of beef and they both dated Jessica Simpson (true story), but they are two peas in a pod, birds of a feather, etc. Here are some other Mayer-esque gems:

So many of the articles I read while doing research on you mentioned how attractive you are. But some of the articles argued that your good looks might be doing the band a disservice…
Yeah.

When asked if he considers himself a sex symbol:
“I don’t know. It’s weird. I once said in an article, I think, if we were overweight, middle-aged dudes, we ‘d be taken very seriously, and our music would be considered ironic and cool and we’d be hipsters. Same music, different look. And it’s probably true. Maybe it has hurt a little, but this is also assuming that I find myself attractive, which is funny, but the fact that I’ve been considered that is very flattering but also maybe somewhat detrimental to what I’m trying to do. But also really helpful, so it’s a double-edged sword. It’s great. It’s propelled me to a place that I enjoy, mostly, so I’m not mad at that. I’ve also been perceived as a womanizing whoremonger or whatever, some sort of weird dude – Lothario is a word I’ve heard a couple of times — and that’s just weird. I’m young, successful. I’ve been having fun and hooking up with girls. It’s like, Leave me alone. What, do you not want me to do that? So I’m cool with all of it. Yeah, sometimes it sucks because I would like to be – we are taken seriously, that’s another thing. Sometimes I am hypersensitive to the fact that we’re not taken seriously, but I don’t realize, Well, wait a minute. We’ve won awards that are really prestigious and Grammys and all this stuff. What am I complaining about? I’ve got all that sh-t too. It’s kind of awesome. I’m really stoked, to be honest.

On reading his own press:
No. My press always gets regurgitated to me at some point and I’m like, Ugh, this is so silly. So, yeah, God bless ‘em.

On Lady Gaga:
Gaga is the perfect example because people are definitely saying things like, “changed the face of music” and “avant-garde.” And I love what she does. I love the fact that she exists. It’s almost like, finally there’s a pop star who brings a little bit more weight to it. She’s weird. She’s a weird chick. She does weird sh-t. She dresses weird. Her music is slightly off. That’s awesome. I think that’s great for pop music because it’s been so safe up to this point, and I like that she’s nude all the time and weird and awesome and cool. Madonna was that way too. I know she gets that comparison a lot, but it’s true. She was pushing the envelope back in the day. She was doing the same thing that Gaga’s doing to a large extent. She has her own spin on it. That’s fantastic. I love subverting the new generation of pop music and all these really safe Disney kids. But no, I’m not going to try to sound like that because that would be weird. That would be even weirder than Lady Gaga herself if we just all of a sudden got really strange — because we’re not, that’s just not who we are. But she’s great, and there are very few things these days that are truly innovative and forward-thinking or at least different. Goddamn, everything’s just so generic. I like things that shake shit up.

[From Out Magazine]

Do you see? He loves the sound of his own voice and he thinks he’s brilliant. Granted, he’s probably smarter than the average rock star. And yes, he is good-looking. But in his own mind, he’s a God amongst men. And he’s just not.

Adam on July 2, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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